I don't know how to be happy.
I've been having huge amount of phlegm in my throat recently, from last time I had phlegm, every day I woke up.
I don't know why I had it. Is it because of the food and drink I always eat last time or some other reasons?
I even think it might be because of Grandma. Although before she died then she had really huge amount of phlegm in her mouth and supposedly throat.
I think throat will have too. I think throat will have because it links to the mouth?
Mine is in my throat. Sometimes I can spilled it out, sometimes I can't.
I've to keep swallowing it every minute, I'm exhausted to swallow it every second -_-
I don't blame Grandma if she passed it to me.
I don't even know why I've it. So torturing!!
Back to school, I'm more unhappier. Because I remember Grandma once again.
After Grandma's funeral, back to school, I cried every day.
And then it was holidays, I still cried but it got better as days went by,
School reopen, I cried every day. I thought I wouldn't but I can't control.
I don't know what has become of me. I'm so tired.
I think I want to do well in my studies but I find it so hard.
My gpa for first semester wasn't good. I only want to do well for next semester.
I don't want to waste anymore time, money e.g
I don't know how to overcome the fact that Grandma is gone. I miss her just too much.
AND when will exactly my armpit stop feeling pain?
I don't even know if my armpit feels pain does it mean I need to do surgery?
I don't want surgery cause there might be a possible need to draft skin.
The doctors can't confirm, they've to see after I do the surgery to see if there's a need to draft skin.
I DON'T WANT DRAFT SKIN. I RATHER DIE.
I didn't want to absent from school for so many days in a week.
I didn't want to answer any calls. I didn't know it was from school. I think it was.
I didn't want people to disturb my Mum. But no choice, attendance is important.
I know it is but I hate it that I only know how to cry in school every day.
I really hate to be in school but I need to proceed to higher level next year.
Can't even concentrate on my work, can't even do well.
I really want to do everything well but I don't know how to do it.
Only when friends was around me or talk to me then I'll feel better.
I think I need counsellor but at the same time I don't want too.
I don't want to let Mum knows I actually still haven't get over Grandma.
I don't want her to worry.
Sigh. Headache...............
