Tuesday, November 24, 2009 @ 1:43 AM
1 more day to China. This is so great!!!
What a pity my Sis, Weikiat and Jonathan can't join us, if not it'll be double the fun!
Never mind, one fine day! ^.^
I can't wait to see my niece, Neenee!!!!!!!! And my cousins!!! Relatives!
Can't wait to step into Grandpa's house again, play, eat, sit on the motor and on the 'fengcai' car.
Wow! Never sick of it. Guess the 5th trip to China will be like next next year or sth )':
Will really treasure this time round to China! =)
I'm loving it. (Y) (Y) (Y)
Sunday, November 22, 2009 @ 8:39 PM
Grandma is back to her own house!!! SUPER UNBEARABLE!!! __ Just hope that time by time she'll be use to staying at her own house which for years we didn't visited the house, (now its my Uncle's house), and hope I can visit her often!!! Super still not sure of the location. God will watch me right? I guess so or maybe not. Stupid, me help myself. LOL! :-) Hey be happy is the way.
Suddenly, I felt so remorseful. So regretful for not going Grandpa's house every sunday when he was still alive.
Why wasn't I few years older last few years?!?!?!?!?!?!
But I think it doesn't make much difference either, but maybe it will also make a difference.
Doesn't mean I might love Grandpa/ma more like how I love Grandma now.
Now, I really miss Grandpa, miss him than anything.
If its not that Grandpa passed away, I won't be so close to Grandma now.
Its was because that none can take care Grandma, so my Mum took her in.
I didn't give a damn about Grandma when she first moved to my house when Grandpa passed away.
It was on the 2007 January... Until Mum told me to care more for Grandma. I started to.
I don't know how I started, but I know the more I communicate with her, day by day, I began to really dote her.
HOW GREAT IF LIFE CAN RESTART ALL OVER AGAIN.
For me to treasure Grandpa more in the past.......
I'll be so much happier to see Grandpa around with Grandma, everyday also not a problem.
Though Ang Mo Kio may be far, but for them, I'll be looking forward to everyday.
Though I might not be close with them, as I wasn't close with them, thats why I didn't really care about them.
I'll scream in joy if I'm able to see them everyday....................... Not possible... Of course..
EH!!!!!!!!! Maybe when all of us are dead!!! That'll be nice too. A hell/heaven reunion! :)
Not like the past, I dragged to go to Ang Mo Kio as I can't tolerate a 1 hour bus ride.
Always vomiting when I reached Ang Mo Kio, and the distant is far. Actually its just all about far. Damn it.
Knowing Grandpa dote on me and the others, but I don't really realised in the past.
ALSO, regretful for not going china second time while Grandpa still alive. Fuck.
This sentence is so true 'people always tend to treasure things after they lost it'.
I don't know if this sentence suits me as I was not close with them.
Sounds like an excuse... Fuck, I don't know la...
At least there was a first time going to China when Grandpa and Grandma was there.
Though the memories is not clear, still, at least there were once. At least there were photos.
Suddenly felt like god is playing on me and some of you out there.
For making us losing our love ones etc.
Saturday, November 21, 2009 @ 12:28 AM
Things have changed, but life goes on.
Have been thinking a lot these few days.
I think I've changed like....... My thinking.
I don't stick to one solution anymore.
I don't really think of the negative side anymore.
I think I care really less about things. I used to really think too much..
(I don't know if this is a good thing in future, but it's guarantee to be a good thing for now.)
I used to confide everything out in the past, I think I like to solve it myself now.
PLANS. (in my head) Perhaps my plan for next year would be good! (Y)
=)
Have been thinking a lot these few days.
I think I've changed like....... My thinking.
I don't stick to one solution anymore.
I don't really think of the negative side anymore.
I think I care really less about things. I used to really think too much..
(I don't know if this is a good thing in future, but it's guarantee to be a good thing for now.)
I used to confide everything out in the past, I think I like to solve it myself now.
PLANS. (in my head) Perhaps my plan for next year would be good! (Y)
=)
Thursday, November 19, 2009 @ 4:38 PM
Random photo, New expression
Now I know the name of the maid, Sre.
She don't really know how to speak english, she's from Indonesia. She speaks Malay.
Luckily Shiela forked out the time to help. And Ipin, for the translation. Thanks a lot guys!
Learned some few simple sentence of Malay, guess I really got to start learning some Malay.
So in future when I see Sre at Ang Mo Kio, I'll be able to communicate with her.
Guess it'll be really hard to learn unless I really have the heart to. However, I'll still try.
It was really weird with a stranger staying with us for 1 day, but time passed rather fast.
Actually 3 days at first.
She seemed nice, hope she'll be really nice to Grandma.
Unbearable but have to look to the happy side.
Alright, Three More Days Sis will be back from Korea...
Wonder what is she doing now. Korea must be very cold now.
She don't really know how to speak english, she's from Indonesia. She speaks Malay.
Luckily Shiela forked out the time to help. And Ipin, for the translation. Thanks a lot guys!
Learned some few simple sentence of Malay, guess I really got to start learning some Malay.
So in future when I see Sre at Ang Mo Kio, I'll be able to communicate with her.
Guess it'll be really hard to learn unless I really have the heart to. However, I'll still try.
It was really weird with a stranger staying with us for 1 day, but time passed rather fast.
Actually 3 days at first.
She seemed nice, hope she'll be really nice to Grandma.
Unbearable but have to look to the happy side.
Alright, Three More Days Sis will be back from Korea...
Wonder what is she doing now. Korea must be very cold now.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009 @ 1:19 AM
I've learned smart.
Won't repeat it again.
Sis was off to Korea 3 days ago. I'm starting to miss her.
(I said I've nothing to talk to Sis... Actually I don't know how to talk to her. HA HA. Was happy to talk to her on phone though. Sis said Korea's food is very plain, like not very salty or fried or sweet, sth like that. In chinese, very 'dan'.)
Awww... I would still like to go to Korea one fine day.
I think I shouldn't mind so much about, something.
Later on either morning, afternoon or night the maid will be joining us.
But also quite happy, cause the maid will only be staying for 2 days not 3 days.
I hope she's nice, hope Grandma likes her.
Hope she likes Grandma too, like how me and some of the hospital nurses sayang her.
I mean not must sayang her, just like me and some of the hospital nurses care for her.
Anyway, I'm happy today, er no, yesterday. (as it has past mid-night now)
Like more than happy. So long never really smile happily.
AS I FINALLY, FINALLY! WAS OUT WITH GRANDMA TO THE MARKET!!!
Relieved! It was quite easy to carry Grandma to the wheelchair with Brother and Mum's help.
And carried back to the bed with Mum and mine's help.
Even though something scares me today, he's pitiful but I WAS EATING.
He's pitiful but I hope it's not true because the sake of money.
He's pitiful but it makes me scared and think of it for few times yesterday.
Ahh......... It makes me remember like for 1 whole day. I hope it don't last.
Skip this.
Even though the food sucks, but with Grandma presence, it's just so nice.
Even though Grandma was nagging pain and intolerable, we were still happy.
Even though everything might not go Mum's way, but I still think it wasn't that bad.
Few months without photos of Grandma to the market,
here is some photos to make up for it.
Love her loads! Like you can never imagine!
=>
Won't repeat it again.
Sis was off to Korea 3 days ago. I'm starting to miss her.
(I said I've nothing to talk to Sis... Actually I don't know how to talk to her. HA HA. Was happy to talk to her on phone though. Sis said Korea's food is very plain, like not very salty or fried or sweet, sth like that. In chinese, very 'dan'.)
Awww... I would still like to go to Korea one fine day.
I think I shouldn't mind so much about, something.
Later on either morning, afternoon or night the maid will be joining us.
But also quite happy, cause the maid will only be staying for 2 days not 3 days.
I hope she's nice, hope Grandma likes her.
Hope she likes Grandma too, like how me and some of the hospital nurses sayang her.
I mean not must sayang her, just like me and some of the hospital nurses care for her.
Anyway, I'm happy today, er no, yesterday. (as it has past mid-night now)
Like more than happy. So long never really smile happily.
AS I FINALLY, FINALLY! WAS OUT WITH GRANDMA TO THE MARKET!!!
Relieved! It was quite easy to carry Grandma to the wheelchair with Brother and Mum's help.
And carried back to the bed with Mum and mine's help.
Even though something scares me today, he's pitiful but I WAS EATING.
He's pitiful but I hope it's not true because the sake of money.
He's pitiful but it makes me scared and think of it for few times yesterday.
Ahh......... It makes me remember like for 1 whole day. I hope it don't last.
Skip this.
Even though the food sucks, but with Grandma presence, it's just so nice.
Even though Grandma was nagging pain and intolerable, we were still happy.
Even though everything might not go Mum's way, but I still think it wasn't that bad.
Few months without photos of Grandma to the market,
here is some photos to make up for it.
Love her loads! Like you can never imagine!
=>
Sunday, November 15, 2009 @ 4:07 PM
THREE MORE DAYS......................................................................................
IN MY WHOLE LIFE, there'll be a first stranger who is coming to my house to stay.
Guess who? A MAID. Actually, I don't know why, I don't like calling maid, maid.
Doesn't sound nice to me, so when I know her name, I'll call her name.
She'll only be staying for three days, hope it won't be long, I'm not use to having a stranger in my house.
Grandma is having her mind thinking wild again.....
I was shocked that she said with me by her side she look to the positive side and forgotten unhappy incidents or things.
Don't feel like leaving my house and me, but I going to China yet cannot bring her go........
(ACTUALLY BOUGHT AIR TICKET FOR GRANDMA, GOT TO WASTE THE TICKET CAUSE GRANDMA CAN'T WALK LIKE THE PAST, TOO EARLY ORDER THE TICKET ALREADY)
(but at least as long Grandma is fine now, waste the ticket is nothing.)
(SAY SO MUCH, LAST TIME REALLY SHOULDN'T SEND GRANDMA TO CHINA ALONE)
SEE, SO MUCH HAPPENED, WHO TO BLAME?!?!?! Luckily everything is fine now.
Mum said luckily I suggested to go see Grandma in china if not Grandma might have been death now.
WHICH SUCKS, HATE MUM TO SAY THAT, but maybe it's right. Fuck, I rather I die.
Wanted to told Grandma I dreamed of Grandpa, but scared will make her upset, so I didn't.
SO MUCH WANT TO TELL HER! First time in my life, I cried during dream and real life.
Dreamed of Grandpa like for few hrs, that I cried in dream and when I woke up, I was still crying.
Which was weird for me, I don't cry in real life when I cried in dream.
But the cry doesn't last long, the dream was a little, un-real.
Moreover, the ending was sweet, all of us hold hands together, I was the only one crying and Grandpa was touching my head as usual.
As what he did in the past, when he was still alive.
Happy I dreamed of Grandpa still. Hope I'll be able to dream of him again.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Now, I'm thinking how can I manage my time well in order to visit Grandma everyday if possible and during school days, is more HARD. Remedials all these. It sounds really REALLY difficult, as the venue is Ang Mo Kio. Really far. Shit it, I don't know how to manage my time at all, A STUPID IN MANAGING TIME. Next year, is a important year but Grandma is much more important. BUT I also can't neglect my study.
I think I can solve it. Should be. Right........ -_-
Never mind, I believe if I want to do sth, I can do it.
IN MY WHOLE LIFE, there'll be a first stranger who is coming to my house to stay.
Guess who? A MAID. Actually, I don't know why, I don't like calling maid, maid.
Doesn't sound nice to me, so when I know her name, I'll call her name.
She'll only be staying for three days, hope it won't be long, I'm not use to having a stranger in my house.
Grandma is having her mind thinking wild again.....
I was shocked that she said with me by her side she look to the positive side and forgotten unhappy incidents or things.
Don't feel like leaving my house and me, but I going to China yet cannot bring her go........
(ACTUALLY BOUGHT AIR TICKET FOR GRANDMA, GOT TO WASTE THE TICKET CAUSE GRANDMA CAN'T WALK LIKE THE PAST, TOO EARLY ORDER THE TICKET ALREADY)
(but at least as long Grandma is fine now, waste the ticket is nothing.)
(SAY SO MUCH, LAST TIME REALLY SHOULDN'T SEND GRANDMA TO CHINA ALONE)
SEE, SO MUCH HAPPENED, WHO TO BLAME?!?!?! Luckily everything is fine now.
Mum said luckily I suggested to go see Grandma in china if not Grandma might have been death now.
WHICH SUCKS, HATE MUM TO SAY THAT, but maybe it's right. Fuck, I rather I die.
Wanted to told Grandma I dreamed of Grandpa, but scared will make her upset, so I didn't.
SO MUCH WANT TO TELL HER! First time in my life, I cried during dream and real life.
Dreamed of Grandpa like for few hrs, that I cried in dream and when I woke up, I was still crying.
Which was weird for me, I don't cry in real life when I cried in dream.
But the cry doesn't last long, the dream was a little, un-real.
Moreover, the ending was sweet, all of us hold hands together, I was the only one crying and Grandpa was touching my head as usual.
As what he did in the past, when he was still alive.
Happy I dreamed of Grandpa still. Hope I'll be able to dream of him again.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Now, I'm thinking how can I manage my time well in order to visit Grandma everyday if possible and during school days, is more HARD. Remedials all these. It sounds really REALLY difficult, as the venue is Ang Mo Kio. Really far. Shit it, I don't know how to manage my time at all, A STUPID IN MANAGING TIME. Next year, is a important year but Grandma is much more important. BUT I also can't neglect my study.
I think I can solve it. Should be. Right........ -_-
Never mind, I believe if I want to do sth, I can do it.
Friday, November 13, 2009 @ 2:07 AM
Maybe I broke my own rule? But I'm happy! He he he I went...
Kind of disappointed, keep thinking why he stopped! No answers.
Never mind, it's okay. A nothing to me.
Anyway, I miss Racy!!!!!!!!! Hope to see her before I left for China.
Random photos:
I'm not sleeping early again, I guess I'm getting.. Weird.
Suddenly felt like I was smart, for not being stupid, doing stupid things, agree to go out.
If not I might be a joke now. I'm so grateful I was just 'playing' toy.
REALLY. I was smart. That's why I'm still here now, happy.
Not with burdens and sadness. You all won't uds, but it's okay.
Just for myself to typing it here without anyone knowing what I'm talking about.
Thursday, November 12, 2009 @ 6:32 PM
TWO days without jogging, guess tomorrow won't be able to jog either.
Should be muscle tight, just that its near the heart.
Most probably because I over stretched in jogging... That sounds definitely right.
I think I'm kind of hating some sweet stuffs I used to like.
Last time the food that I think is sweet, now, to me, IS VERY SWEET.
Not sure is it because long time never eat sweet stuffs, it somehow annoyed me.
Didn't felt like finishing it, just a little piece left. Well, it's weird.
Kept drinking a lot of water, then it can make me forget the sweetness in it. TOO SWEET.
This sounds like a good thing either. So, perhaps I won't get unwanted sickness in the future.
Like... Like... Erm... Like diabetes.
SO HUMANS, don't think you're young so you can eat so much heaty/salty/sweet/oily food.
It's time to take care of your body, so you don't regret in the later future!
Start to eat healthy, once a while heaty food, it's okay, not always.
STAY HEALTHY, BE HAPPY! I like. =)
Should be muscle tight, just that its near the heart.
Most probably because I over stretched in jogging... That sounds definitely right.
I think I'm kind of hating some sweet stuffs I used to like.
Last time the food that I think is sweet, now, to me, IS VERY SWEET.
Not sure is it because long time never eat sweet stuffs, it somehow annoyed me.
Didn't felt like finishing it, just a little piece left. Well, it's weird.
Kept drinking a lot of water, then it can make me forget the sweetness in it. TOO SWEET.
This sounds like a good thing either. So, perhaps I won't get unwanted sickness in the future.
Like... Like... Erm... Like diabetes.
SO HUMANS, don't think you're young so you can eat so much heaty/salty/sweet/oily food.
It's time to take care of your body, so you don't regret in the later future!
Start to eat healthy, once a while heaty food, it's okay, not always.
STAY HEALTHY, BE HAPPY! I like. =)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 @ 2:17 PM
Heart/Muscle feeling tight. I've no idea. It's quite scary.
Guess ain't able to go jogging, don't dare to jog either. Darn.
Guess ain't able to go jogging, don't dare to jog either. Darn.
@ 3:42 AM
Going to sleep now! It's more than half an hour~
Miss them! Think they're in Malaysia now. Having fun?
Not sure when they coming back, hope I can go Meiling's open house!
Miss them! Think they're in Malaysia now. Having fun?
Not sure when they coming back, hope I can go Meiling's open house!
@ 2:16 AM
EITHER TOO SMALL OR TOO BIG. Why? Why? Why?
/Too much coincidence/
NOW I know what I'm obsessed with!
GUESS WHAT... it's really easy.
It's not really 'FRUITS', it's TV.
Damn, even me myself can't stand myself.
Even though Mum was wrong to vent anger on me sometimes..
But sometimes she's right, I'm too obsessed with TV.
I hate this attitude of mine too. Was too angry so slept at 9pm.
Woke up around 12am in the midnight, WOW, was having headache.
Ain't able to sleep, kind of awake. 1 hour ago, feeling VERY AWAKE.
Now, kind of sleepy. But I'm still not sleeping, maybe half an hour more.
Blamed Mum for saying/scolding Grandma. IN THE FIRST PLACE.
As Grandma was looking MORE UPSET than usual. Felt sad for her but what can I do?
Always cracking the same joke won't help much, she still mind what Mum said.
Luckily Mum mood got better in the mid-night, together we helped Grandma to do things.
After that, can see that Grandma looks happier and forgotten what happened. Maybe?
Few minutes ago, she damn tricky, I was blogging and she was calling for urine.
Then, I was slower for few minutes and she threatened to use toilet paper to wipe her private.
Damn adorable, I was like 'Eh eh eh, no, you can't do that' and she laughed.
Well, hope when I sayang her, she'll feel better. Whenever she smile it really brighten my day.
I teased her, I called her 'Mother' as that's what my Mum called her. And she smiled :)
Guffaws) Asked her what's the meaning of 'Mother', she still act don't know. CUTE.
LOVE HER LOADS!
Sometimes I want days to go slower but when it goes slower, that means to the arrival to China is slower too.
Hope my niece don't grow too tall and big! If not, can't play already. Ha ha.
But when it goes fast, it's unbearable to not see Grandma in my house.
Sigh......... Life.
My last wish is that Grandma can sit up soon, so maybe.. Maybe. She can move back to my house.
My another wish before she move to Uncle's house is to go to the market with her and have breakfast with her.
Hope Grandma can grant me this wish! Long long time never go market with her.
It's scary to carry her to the wheelchair too, hope she's not getting heavier...
I hope and believe this wish of mine can come true. Thanks God. God bless.
Like I say, willing to sacrifice anything.
/Too much coincidence/
NOW I know what I'm obsessed with!
GUESS WHAT... it's really easy.
It's not really 'FRUITS', it's TV.
Damn, even me myself can't stand myself.
Even though Mum was wrong to vent anger on me sometimes..
But sometimes she's right, I'm too obsessed with TV.
I hate this attitude of mine too. Was too angry so slept at 9pm.
Woke up around 12am in the midnight, WOW, was having headache.
Ain't able to sleep, kind of awake. 1 hour ago, feeling VERY AWAKE.
Now, kind of sleepy. But I'm still not sleeping, maybe half an hour more.
Blamed Mum for saying/scolding Grandma. IN THE FIRST PLACE.
As Grandma was looking MORE UPSET than usual. Felt sad for her but what can I do?
Always cracking the same joke won't help much, she still mind what Mum said.
Luckily Mum mood got better in the mid-night, together we helped Grandma to do things.
After that, can see that Grandma looks happier and forgotten what happened. Maybe?
Few minutes ago, she damn tricky, I was blogging and she was calling for urine.
Then, I was slower for few minutes and she threatened to use toilet paper to wipe her private.
Damn adorable, I was like 'Eh eh eh, no, you can't do that' and she laughed.
Well, hope when I sayang her, she'll feel better. Whenever she smile it really brighten my day.
I teased her, I called her 'Mother' as that's what my Mum called her. And she smiled :)
Guffaws) Asked her what's the meaning of 'Mother', she still act don't know. CUTE.
LOVE HER LOADS!
Sometimes I want days to go slower but when it goes slower, that means to the arrival to China is slower too.
Hope my niece don't grow too tall and big! If not, can't play already. Ha ha.
But when it goes fast, it's unbearable to not see Grandma in my house.
Sigh......... Life.
My last wish is that Grandma can sit up soon, so maybe.. Maybe. She can move back to my house.
My another wish before she move to Uncle's house is to go to the market with her and have breakfast with her.
Hope Grandma can grant me this wish! Long long time never go market with her.
It's scary to carry her to the wheelchair too, hope she's not getting heavier...
I hope and believe this wish of mine can come true. Thanks God. God bless.
Like I say, willing to sacrifice anything.
Sunday, November 8, 2009 @ 10:01 PM
I'm really lost for words
Jogging is great! It really helps me a lot a lot.
Felt really relaxed after jogging, I'm loving it!
I'm like addicted to fruits, wa-ha-ha! It's weird.
Kinda disappointed not able to eat fruits today, the shop was closed.
It's okay, tomorrow tomorrow! Anyway, I'm 'quite' happy today.
HA HA, 'quite' happy worsxzxz.
Well, kind of miss badminton, but.... Miss basketball too!
Can't wait to go Hainan Dao which is also China.
I miss my cousins and niece!!!!! In 17 days I'll be able to see them. Can't wait!
Jogging is great! It really helps me a lot a lot.
Felt really relaxed after jogging, I'm loving it!
I'm like addicted to fruits, wa-ha-ha! It's weird.
Kinda disappointed not able to eat fruits today, the shop was closed.
It's okay, tomorrow tomorrow! Anyway, I'm 'quite' happy today.
HA HA, 'quite' happy worsxzxz.
Well, kind of miss badminton, but.... Miss basketball too!
Can't wait to go Hainan Dao which is also China.
I miss my cousins and niece!!!!! In 17 days I'll be able to see them. Can't wait!
Saturday, November 7, 2009 @ 12:30 AM
Some things is better to be left unsaid..........
- I WISH/I HOPE no more hearing of GM if die and bla..
- Splitting s
- Why not hear I DIE?
Jogged for 2 rounds today, luckily just drizzling.
Hate it rains whenever I feel like jogging.
After that met Shiela for fruits's session like yesterday.
I love die fruits! He he he he he he he he he he.
Few hours to be out of house feel really nice.
Reached home, the same thing. Better left to be unsaid.
Lucky I didn't ttttt, FUCK intolerable.
It's okay, everything will be fine, everything will be a success.
I'll be strong. That's the me.
Going to sleep now!
Happy for Grandma is not shouting for urine.
Oh no, she just called )':
Never mind, helped her and then sleep.
. God bless
/Feel like complaining but why should I be the one complaining?
Friday, November 6, 2009 @ 12:46 AM
Was out with Racy few days ago.
Yesterday was with Shiela for few hours.
Felt so nice to be out, even just for that few hours.
Was lucky not to be blamed.
Anyway!
Can't wait to see Huimin, Merlene and my clique soon.
Well, now its 12.47AM, didn't realised. And now, my beloved Grandma is nagging away.
I think I better get some sleep and wait for her to shout my name.
Tired to help her clean urine but for the sake of her it's okay.
Nights everyone!
Didn't know the black thing is for throwing rubbish.
Was in a rush taking these photos,
PS: Sorry for the colour papers roll keep dropping out, I did a bad job :/
Yesterday was with Shiela for few hours.
Felt so nice to be out, even just for that few hours.
Was lucky not to be blamed.
Anyway!
Can't wait to see Huimin, Merlene and my clique soon.
Well, now its 12.47AM, didn't realised. And now, my beloved Grandma is nagging away.
I think I better get some sleep and wait for her to shout my name.
Tired to help her clean urine but for the sake of her it's okay.
Nights everyone!
Didn't know the black thing is for throwing rubbish.
Was in a rush taking these photos,
not even looking at the camera -__-
Some photos with Racy, post it next time.
PS: Sorry for the colour papers roll keep dropping out, I did a bad job :/
Still, I know you like my present right? He he! Advance happy birthday dear!
Will wish you again if I'm able to blog on the exact day.
Can't wait to buy that bag if I still like it and have the cash. You too ye?
See you soon! Maybe nov 22, right?
