Now. Whatever I type below, I'm serious. Won't back out no matter what.
Unless things got really a big change. Which I believe a WON'T.
The truth is, I'm soft-hearted. Those who knows me well know I'm soft-hearted.
But I swear towards a thing, I won't be soft-hearted anymore. Which is repay.
I won't repay to Dad a single cent. The most I'll do is to repay Mum.
In the first place, Dad shouldn't played cheat, shouldn't want one more child which is me.
Mum didn't expect to be pregnant and give birth to me.
I was born because Dad played cheat, he doesn't even help to pay money for this family.
All he earned, just for his own, his own, his own. Gamble, maybe? And what else more.
Drink beer and what else more. Fucking idiot.
I once thought of when I start to work, how should I repay Dad when he sometimes give me pocket money for recess and that's just the money he give me. No else more.
Can you believe that? CAN YOU?
He owes Mum too much. Especially he just pay like 1/4 of the house bills.
HE
NEVER GIVE MUM MONEY FOR GROCERIES, HOUSE BILLS, OR ANYTHING.
He suggested to give birth to me, he played cheat, yet he wasn't responsible towards it.
I didn't want to remember hatred at all, not at all.But this kind of Dad, how can I don't remember hatred? How can I?I even thought of repaying him, wtf. Why should I even?
I only need to repay Mum because she is responsible towards me, my sis and my bro.
Every single thing she pay,
EVERY SINGLE THING.
She is like my Mum and my Dad. She plays two roles.
I don't even need a Dad who don't remember our birthday, don't care of my birthday, don't bother to buy a birthday cake, when I'd a school trip to Malacca for 3 days he didn't give me money,
when I was a baby don't even bother to buy diaper etc whatever the baby needs, (every single thing Mum buy with her own hard earned money), many else more... which will be never finishing by his selfish-ness. I FUCKING CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
ALL SINGLE THING MUM FORK OUT, MUM WORKED LIKE HELL.Which I'll note it down, forever, till the day I lie in my coffin.I won't change this thinking for not repaying cause so you know I must change to be hard.
I shan't be soft anymore. He push me that hard. He knows it.
He knows how much I sent messages to him to tell him how much I owe my friends money because he refused to give me money to pay the school things, top up money, whatever money.
Some things I used my own money, till left nearly $0, but know what?
Mum gave me the money again.
Mum is the best. OF COURSE.
And also, guess what, the second person I should repay is Sis, my blood Sis.
Not the Dad which most people will be repaying or love.
SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED, SAD AND UNHAPPY. MANY MORE indescribable FEELINGS.
Now am only wanting to faster finish this grudges post.
Teared for why I've this kind of Dad.Whom came to me laughing the repeating messages I sent asking him for money and he said that he will off his phone to avoid my messages. COOL thing he did.
__
I remembered asking him to drive me to the hospital Grandma was in, in 2008 after I came back from Malacca, he denied, he left me in the van, I was crying, he even laughed.
THE MOST FUCKED UP THING IS THAT HE WANT ONE MORE CHILD AFTER MY SISTER, WHICH IS ME YET HE DON'T REMEMBER OUR BIRTHDAYS. WHAT IS THIS?!?!
Why did I wished him 'happy birthday' when I was in China. !!!
That is not right of me to do that. I shouldn't be so nice, I shouldn't do that.
He was happy in the phone hearing I wished him, you know.
I even thought of asking my blood sis to buy him a cake from my savings.
I swear I won't wish him or care his birthday ever again.
Other things, I'll note it down and remember in my heart, forever.
Thank you Mum and suck you Dad.
I LAZY TO LINE THIS POST PROPERLY, I SHALL END LIKE THIS.
Going off to visit Grandma. Bye everyone! I'm a remember hatred people if you push me way too far.
P.S: I know my english sucks at most point of the time but I don't bother to correct liao la. Too fucked up.
