It's 2013. The reason why I'm blogging right now it's partly because I thought of Grandma.
Grandma had left nearly 2 years. Time passed so fast.
If Grandma is still around, I'm sure I'll blog with happier words but I'm still grateful to God for letting Grandma be with me for few years... Really.

Just some photos of 2012, photos will do the talking!

Hi readers, it's been a long while.
Well, I'm actually blogging for myself so it does not matter if no one reads it.
I said from June onwards I'm gonna chase my dreams but I didn't. I'm just too lazy.
After Grandma left, life has been meaningless.
After secondary school, everything changes.
But this year what makes me really happy is the friends I met at Takashimaya and Chocolate Origin.
They're all really nice people. I'm glad I met them.

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So many thoughts on my mind.
Feeling inferior and __________, _________, ______fill in the blanks!
Hate being myself, no?
I don't know.

I'm just tired of being a living thing. Or rather being ME.
Sometimes I just really wish I wasn't born.
Till here.

GOOD NIGHT.

Missing Grandma...

I miss blogging. I'll blog soon.
Starting from this year June, if it's my holidays, I'll start to chase my dreams.
One step at a time. I know it'll be really tough, but I'll give it a try.
Since Grandma is not around anymore.
What I can do is to do what I want and love and let Grandma see me being successful!
And I also hope Grandma is happy right now, wherever she is.

I don't know how to be happy.

I've been having huge amount of phlegm in my throat recently, from last time I had phlegm, every day I woke up.
I don't know why I had it. Is it because of the food and drink I always eat last time or some other reasons?
I even think it might be because of Grandma. Although before she died then she had really huge amount of phlegm in her mouth and supposedly throat.
I think throat will have too. I think throat will have because it links to the mouth?
Mine is in my throat. Sometimes I can spilled it out, sometimes I can't.
I've to keep swallowing it every minute, I'm exhausted to swallow it every second -_-
I don't blame Grandma if she passed it to me.
I don't even know why I've it. So torturing!!

Back to school, I'm more unhappier. Because I remember Grandma once again.
After Grandma's funeral, back to school, I cried every day.
And then it was holidays, I still cried but it got better as days went by,
School reopen, I cried every day. I thought I wouldn't but I can't control.
I don't know what has become of me. I'm so tired.
I think I want to do well in my studies but I find it so hard.
My gpa for first semester wasn't good. I only want to do well for next semester.
I don't want to waste anymore time, money e.g
I don't know how to overcome the fact that Grandma is gone. I miss her just too much.
AND when will exactly my armpit stop feeling pain?
I don't even know if my armpit feels pain does it mean I need to do surgery?
I don't want surgery cause there might be a possible need to draft skin.
The doctors can't confirm, they've to see after I do the surgery to see if there's a need to draft skin.
I DON'T WANT DRAFT SKIN. I RATHER DIE.

I didn't want to absent from school for so many days in a week.
I didn't want to answer any calls. I didn't know it was from school. I think it was.
I didn't want people to disturb my Mum. But no choice, attendance is important.
I know it is but I hate it that I only know how to cry in school every day.
I really hate to be in school but I need to proceed to higher level next year.
Can't even concentrate on my work, can't even do well.
I really want to do everything well but I don't know how to do it.
Only when friends was around me or talk to me then I'll feel better.
I think I need counsellor but at the same time I don't want too.
I don't want to let Mum knows I actually still haven't get over Grandma.
I don't want her to worry.

Sigh. Headache...............

You know, whenever I think about Grandma is really not around anymore.
I feel my life is not perfect, something huge is missing. But I'm better now.
I'm better when I don't think of her, but every day I'll still think of her.
Last time, when my cyst came back after I did surgery, which I don't really understand why.
When I told Grandma, she said "Why do you have so many pain? Aiyo."
She gave me a pity look and she was really cute. Just seeing her face, I feel that everything was alright.
I thought I'd to take out, but when I went for doctor appointments.
I can actually choose not to take out. Of course, there're advantages and disadvantages.
If I take out, it might come back again. Which is bad.
But if I don't take out, my armpit will have something there and it's quite uncomfortable.
Because I can't shave/pluck my armpit hair. Even if I take out, it's better not to shave/pluck too.
I can only cut it. Which is hard for me to cut for my left armpit. Luckily I don't wear sleeveless.
Even if I can wear, I won't too. It's too ugly to wear when I can't shave/pluck it.
But when Grandma left this world, I would think about my cyst and I feel so sad.
If Grandma was still alive, it's still alright for me. I wouldn't really think about it.
Now, somewhere I got this thing at there for a long time. I hope it's nothing.
These 2 things make me worried. I hope I'll be fine and it is nothing.

My Grandma passed away on 14 April, 10.28 am.
14 April, 14/4 doesn't sounds like a good day :( Because 4 in chinese sounds like "die".
I didn't expect it to happen so fast, I don't wish it to happen and I couldn't believe.
Brother is getting bad to worst. Or I should say he's back to the same old him.
When Grandma was alive, he wasn't like this.
Because Mum will instruct him to take care of Grandma and give him some money.
So he didn't really go out and drink and make a mess out of himself.
But after Grandma passed away, he is back to his usual self. He went to drink and became mad.
I think I should say mad. He was scary to me. Mum told me to beware.
I don't know if I should be scared and I think I was. Because a drunkard can do anything?
Now I'm controlling my temper and not going to talk much to him unless necessary.
I think everything is alright after all.

Just browsed through my school journal work.
Luckily I scanned some photos into the computer so at least I still can see photos of Grandma and Grandpa when I miss them.
But thinking of them really not around anymore... My heart feels so pain...
:'(

Brother has a very weird attitude and temper yesterday.
I used "please" and "thanks" for carrying Grandma and he complained to Mum that I order him to do things -_-
So Mum lied to him that she had scolded me and then he messaged me with an ordering attitude.
Now he plays with us, he didn't answer calls. I hope he will reply messages.
It's like as if I'm the one at fault. It's his weird temper for goodness sake.
Brother, please don't find trouble whenever we're going abroad. Thank you very much.

I'm scared of growing up. Seriously.

Plan failed and left Shiela, Sixian and I went shopping around at Bugis Street.
Kekeke, bought some rings and ear studs. I'm going to get some watches and pants next time round ^^
Had a great time as I ate vanilla ice-cream with chocolate sauce, bak chor mee, chicken satay and chicken wing at 85 market with Shiela. He-he-he.
I love 85's food although I wasn't craving for anything. Maybe because now my stomach is empty.
Later on lesson is at 1 pm, so maybe there's enough sleep for me and maybe not as I'm planning to bring Grandma to the market in the morning and catch some dramas before I head to school.
Never mind, I will have a good sleep at night later.

All of these was my lunch on the 28 January!!
I thought I could finish it but it was too much -_-
This's crazy. I craved for Cheese Fries last minute and I ordered this instead of Peanut Waffle.


I missed Wanton for a few days and I finally got to eat it on the 28. Not nice! :-O, :@


I missed Tom Yam Mee Hoon Kueh for a day and I ate it the next day!


On the 27, I ate Mee Goreng :P It has been really long since I ate that. Yummy to the max!
I also ate Beef Guo Tiao and Salted Fish Fried Rice at night! Really yummy!!
Or maybe because I was too hungry. Ok, this is crazy. I've been eating a lot!

After my heavy lunch on the 28, I ate Spring Roll, You Tiao with Tofu and half Char Siew Bun! :-O
I also got myself a Track Pants and a Black Coat at Tampines ^^

On the 29, I ate Fillet O-fish as I was having a huge crave for it and in the end I add ala carte Nuggets.
Full to the max! I just can't control my mouth and I bought sweets which was the worst sweets I've ever eaten.
I ordered Red Ruby when I was still feeling really full, I didn't finish it for the first time.
Finally I bought for myself a Purple LED Watch as one of my classmates have it.
It's cool and nice, cost me $20 but worth the price as it's water resistance.
After that, we went to the Arcade. I had lots of fun shooting basketballs into the basket!!
And played some other games in there. After that, home sweet home.
I ate more food. Chicken Wings and Fried Rice!
Today, I couldn't resist food temptation. I ate don't know how many Chocolate Rolls, Fried rice with Eggs, Hot Dogs, Seaweed Chickens and Mac'spicy with Cheese!!
Although Grandma eats many meals a day but I think I eat more than her. Ha-ha-ha.

Am I a monster? Kekeke.


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Aunt June last minute didn't come to my house today, she comes here every Sunday ^^
Due to the big rain, I think everyday it's raining. Weird weather :-O
I just realised it has been long since I last took photo with Grandma! Hopefully tomorrow!! ♥
I'm intending to bring Grandma to the market at 7 am tomorrow, please let me wake up!!
I thought of bringing Grandma to the market on Saturday, and I couldn't make it so I thought of Sunday and I still couldn't make it.
Grandma is just so adorable. Kekeke.
My love for her will be forever but I wonder will my love be lasting for other people?
Well, I randomly saw this program on television about divorce. I feel that marriage is quite scary.
And when my lecturer told us about how marriage will get boring like after 10 years.
I believe some marriage get boring less than 10 years.
But if it's fated, just have to face it.
It's easy to say but when it becomes real, it's really torturing.
*yawn* It's monday tomorrow. Thanks God that lesson is starting at 1pm / 2pm tomorrow.
And 2 days break for Chinese New Year this week. Great ^^
I'm really tired everyday. Super exhausted everyday.

Thank you for always being so money-faced so I can bring myself to remind you to return a small amount of money to my precious someone.
I don't understand why is it so hard when it's just $2? Why do you have to let me feel so bad cause I can't forget it.
Although it's a small amount of money but your action made it seems like stealing and not lending!
I rather rely on myself to do the job. You only wanted to help when I sort of threatened you.
I don't want it to be like this. I would like you to help sincerely if not forget it.
Hopefully I can bring myself to remind you tomorrow again.
Come on, it's not hard at all. Just return the $2 and I will feel good, you will feel good too (not hearing my reminder.)
I can help not for the sake of money, I hope one day you can too. Thank you. God bless.
Sigh :( Whenever I think of how much you suffered, I feel so... Soft-hearted.
But you're a grown up, please be responsible and mature.

My beloved Grandma is just so adorable. No matter how many times I'm going to say this.
She is just so adorable. I love her. He-he. She just brightened up my day everyday I reached home after a long day in school.

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I think I will never forget what you said to me. That sounds good.

This year, I remember thinking of Huimin 2 times.
I think this shows that I will never forget her in my life.
Frankly speaking, after Huimin passed away on April 2010.....
Firstly, I was really stunned and upset. Afterwards, still can't get over it.
I needed friends desperately as my family can't help me.
I'm glad to have their accompany the next day, after the day we visited Huimin at her wake.
These 10 days in my new school, sometimes I thought if she was by my side and what course will she takes.
Actually I thought she might not be in mind anymore after a long period of time.
Nearly a year she left us. And I've not seen her for more than a year. (Not including at her wake.)
Sigh. Life. I know I might sound silly here.
But sometimes I really hope to leave this world or hope that I'd never been born at all.

Someone gave me hope when this year some small things happened.
I never thought that someone will talk to me. I never thought. I only wished.
Well, it never lasted and I still find it like a dream at times.
Never mind, just ignore it and get on with life as you should Ong Jiale.
Be happy. Smile ^^



I love Grandma. As always. He he.

P.S: I'm always finding perfection in my life, I know I'm not perfect myself but I guess I'm trying to be perfect in some ways. I guess. But I still don't think I'm really trying. Well, I guess some people are like me, can't help but love to find perfection in some things.

A brand new start. It's 2011.
Life - It won't go smooth all the time.
Currently feeling down.

Come on, Ong Jiale. Face it with a smile! ^^
Since you're fated to be in this world, just face it.
Your life is not bad, so do treasure it.

*headache*

I've gathered up my courage to ask that someone to do something with responsibility.
I hope that person will really do it, I don't like to remind over and over again.
If not I can't get it off my mind. I wanted to let it go but I can't. I don't feel good.
I'll feel guilty and bad. Although I'm soft hearted but I still feel that person's action is bad.
So I must remind that person again and again.
I feel much more better after reminding again.
That person said it's an easy task but end up it seems so hard when it's really easy to do it.

Just now some things came to my mind when I was taking a stroll nearby my house downstairs.
I posted a lot of statuses like as if my facebook is my twitter or blog.
I'm going to repeat it here again.
Left hand sprained and when I want to put my hand straight, it hurts.
If I'm an old lady, I'll be in so much pain. What to do? Life is like this.
I believe this is how my Grandma feels.
When I told her my hand is in pain, she shaked her head and said "Your armpit is in pain and followed by your hand".
How can all these compare to Grandma when it was only my surgery that hurts a lot?
The only thing that hurts is my cyst is still here. Call it cyst or abcess.
I wonder if I'll ever need another surgery. I hope not.
But it's hard to say, I can do this surgery any time if it's not going to disappear and if it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Of course, I would really hope to remove once and for all.
But all I can do now is to just forget it first. I know it's here everyday but at least I can make myself feel better everyday by not worrying about it.
:-S I've said too much, like a blog.

Above was what I posted on my facebook. Such a long thoughts.
While I was walking, I thought to myself "10 days and I need to go back to school life, please get use to it and avoid making mistakes in a new school".

Anyway, yesterday was the first time I fried eggs for Dad, Mum and Bro.
Mum was angry because Dad ate the first two eggs I fried and he came to me unexpectedly.
So the third egg I fried was ugly in shape, so does the fourth, luckily the fifth was pretty.
Gave Mum the fifth one as she was nagging how Dad doesn't fork out in this family and wants to eat this and that.
I was angry while hearing her nagging as she said "You're a fool".
But I don't remember hatred as it's the fact that Dad is a person whom don't support us.
Mum is the one who works hard all year and still can't take a good rest at this age.

I always love Mum, Grandma, Sis, relatives and friends.

Actually I'm really guilty about something.
Although I didn't do it but I still feel that I've the responsibility to help.
But I let it go because that person really helped a lot. That person helped because of something.
I still feel very uneasy. I guess I better remind that person to return something.
No matter how soft hearted I am. If that person really forget, I don't know what to say.
Argh!

However, my result is out. And I believe in God.
He had helped me chose the best route for me :)
I'm a free thinker but it's a self-belief thing.
I think He knows I can't travel far and it was really tiring for me when it was merely a interview.
I was half dead when I reached Bedok from Choa Chu Kang.
I kept nagging and complaining. It was just a day and I found it so hard.
I hope for the best in everything and hope God bless me.
I've always said "Everything in life is predestined". I believe in it.
Of course, I would hope everything goes well for me and more of good things coming to my way.
But you can't control everything in life right? Just let nature takes it own course.
As long as you do your best. That's what I believe in.

Love Grandma, Mum, Sis, relatives and friends.

Not a success in taking pictures at all. It was so hard and sad.
All I heard was Mum's nagging. I was really upset but now I'm feeling better.
I've thought about it. Just be cool with it. It's a small matter. There's always next time.
I'm going to go jogging later. Hopefully I'll be willing to walk out of my house and go jog. Hahaha.
I'm going to finish "He's Beautiful". Finally I've the time to watch this drama and finishing it soon.
Next year is going to be a busy year for me. So I'm going to complete dramas by 2011!
And next year concentrate on my studies and of course I'll give myself a break occasionally.
That's all I've to say. I'll blog again soon.

Always love Grandma, Mum and Sis.

It has been 10 days since I last blogged.
I remember saying I'll blog frequently as before but I still couldn't do it.
I guess I'm just really not used to it.
Today is Christmas Eve but I can't feel it. HAHAHA.
Well, I don't celebrate Christmas too. Nothing to celebrate though.
I could go to a church event but I choose not to. I prefer staying at home and do my things.
I couldn't control to sleep just now and I slept for few hours, that sucks.
Because I'm having headache when I sleep for too long. I intended to sleep for half an hour.
I need to adjust my time soon cause school is on after 16 days.
I really don't know what to say. Let God decides :)
Totally don't like the distant but I've no choice. ONG JIALE, YOU CAN DO IT!!
My friend who might be going to the same campus as me is not answering my call.
I don't know to hope for my interview go well or not, just let natural takes it own course.
God, I sincerely hope you will plan the best route for me. Thank you.

Anyway, I'm celebrating Christmas tomorrow with Family.
As in, I'm celebrating for a purpose. For eating with Grandma, Mum and whoever can make it.
I guess I'm baking cake tomorrow again. I think just a sponge cake. I hope it goes well.
Pictures will be up!! Hehehe. ONG JIALE, TOMORROW MUST TAKE PICTURES WITH FAMILY! ♥

I FEEL SO FAT!! SHOULDN'T I FEEL THIS WAY?

I've been eating a lot for this two days. Not really this two days. It's this holidays.

SOME RANDOM PHOTOS, I MISS THEM.

23 November I was out with Racy and Sixian. We treated Racy to "18 Chefs".
Simei and Bugis. Always the same places! Boring. Well, we took neoprints!! He he. $18! O.o 18 Chefs.
I hope Racy likes the baked rice ;) My baked rice is not bad though and it's affordable.
I don't really like the cheese fries!! Wasted!!
Initially, I wanted to bring Grandma to the Market but I can't as I didn't have enough sleep.
I slept at 7am plus. This's mad. Last minute supposed to meet Sharon but time clashed.
All time clashed! And I wanted to spend more time with Racy and Sixian :P
So I skipped meeting Sharon, I hope to see her tomorrow provided if time doesn't clash!!
I met Jiejie and her friends and we ate at Popeyes!! He he he.
First time eating a meal of Popeyes, for me it's still alright but I still love it cause I like the people eating with me.
I missed Shiela and she was nearby my house, so I met her but can't go for supper anymore!
I was quite full too.. So maybe tomorrow having supper with Shiela ;)

I bought a folded strawberry wallet where 2 years back Shuyuan bought for me one as my birthday present but it was spoiled.
I was so surprised to see the wallet.
They said some customers are still looking for it, that's why they still have it.
HA HA, and they told me to visit the shop frequently, not every 2 years!!


Second rounds of ice-cream :P


Neoprints.









24 November I was out with Merlene, I missed Sakae Teppanyaki, so we ate that!
After that, we were still at Tampines, don't know where to go.






I was laughing at this, I've no idea why!!

Name: Wang/Ong Jiale
Age: 20
Nationality: Singaporean
Zodiac: Leo

Grandma & Family is always my top priority.
basketball, badminton, pingpong, softball.
I started to read books after twilight were published.
Hate heavy metal and techno, sucks.
movies, shopping, eating, studying.
soft-hearted. easily influence. friendly if you know me well.
anti-social by the face. talkative and nonsense.
true to friends and easily trust people.
loves to laughs, love to joke.

. Grandma to sit up soon!!
. FIFTH CHINA TRIP!!!!! <3
. Trip to KOREA, HONGKONG, TAIWAN, JAPAN AND NEWYORK
. Roam around the world
. Overseas trip with best buds

. FOLDED WALLET!!
. COLLAR LONG SLEEVE SHIRT!
. LONG SLEEVE DRESS!!!!!